How to Build Rapport With an Introverted Manager

Problems With an Introverted Boss

Sometimes, it's not easy to satisfy your manager's needs, especially when they are an introvert.

I had an introverted manager, and it was not easy to get feedback from them. My primary career goal was to improve and grow, and upon joining a new company, the only feedback I'd get from my manager was, "I was doing good." Being self-reflective, I knew that there were areas where I could improve, but there were no guidelines or a plan for the next step that'd help me become a better developer or colleague.

How to Deal With Them?

Ask Questions:

Naturally, when they aren't talking, you have to do it yourself. I invented some questions that my manager did not have in his mind. I asked them to give me feedback on how they thought I was working with the team. In essence, I did not shy away from asking about the type of projects I should pick up to understand the entire product better.

Get a Mentor:

In engineering, working in an agile environment, we don't work on many design-related projects. I asked my manager what kind of projects consisted of more system designs, which involved working with senior engineers. In the process, I also asked my manager to provide me with a mentor or a go-to person when they are not always available.

Become a Mentor for Your Juniors:

Having such mechanisms helped me become a better developer, and in turn, be a better mentor for other developers. When it was my time to share knowledge with junior engineers, I could provide them with very objective feedback. I helped them see some options they had not even considered.

Look Back on What You Want:

Merely asking questions to your manager is not sufficient. Be self-reflective, and ask yourself some questions on what you want and where you want to go in a few years down the line. If you're going to become a manager in the future, ask them for feedback based on that goal. Make sure to get adequate guidance on the path that you want to pick.

Communication is the Key

• Do not make assumptions; instead, call to clarify, not leaving any space for misunderstanding. Ask questions to the point, which would help you move towards that path.
• Even if you have to draw some conclusions, assume the best intentions in people. Particularly when organizations are increasingly remote, it could be difficult for people 一 especially introverts 一 to ask questions. Formalize the process in which you meet each other or have a more structured conversation to give each other some time and space.