How Skip-Level Conversations Can Help You Create Strong Relationships with Your Engineers
31 October, 2020

Toby Delamore
Product Manager at Xero
Problem
Product managers are often detached from a team having to deal with more strategic issues. They would typically develop a relationship with a development manager and engineering lead often being too busy to interact with individual engineers on the team. As a result, they could become a bit disconnected from the reality on the ground and things that are happening on the team. That frequently puts at risk the trust and confidence the team has in their leadership and where they are taking the product.
Actions taken
Establishing skip-level conversations with engineers is highly beneficial. Most product managers will have regular catch-ups with peers such as development managers or architects. These are good for getting overviews of how things are going within your team. However, I have found you can form even better relationships and understanding how individuals in your team are seeing things, via skip-level conversations. Rather than asking your EM how the team is doing, skip the level and go talk straight to individuals on the team. I would set up regular catch-ups with each person on the team. I don’t meet with six or eight people every week and spend all of my time conversing with them, but I would block half an hour or an hour on a weekly basis to meet with one or two people on the team.
The purpose of the skip-level conversations is to provide a more intimate, one-on-one setting where I could learn what is happening on the ground and with the team. I don’t spend all the time talking about work. On the contrary, I asked them about what is going on in their life, what excites them/gets them down, etc. This personal and frank interaction helps me get feedback -- or nuggets of information, as I would dub them -- that is tremendously important and allows me to better identify problems and or improvements that I could build into the work they do. It also builds trust, something I believe is key to have from your team if you want to be successful. If the individuals in your team don’t trust you, you’ll struggle to have them believe in the visions and strategy you set.
Lessons learned
- Having team meetings or one-on-ones with a development manager or engineering lead isn’t enough to build strong relationships and trust across the team.
- If you want to have a solid understanding of what your team is doing and keep a finger on the pulse of how they are operating, you need to go to the source and shouldn’t rely on secondary feedback. If you do, it is more likely that you will end up with a disconnect with your engineering team. They will feel unheard and disregarded and soon will become mercenaries rather than followers.
Discover Plato
Scale your coaching effort for your engineering and product teams
Develop yourself to become a stronger engineering / product leader
Related stories
21 March
Based on an awesome book titled "Deep Work" by Cal Newport we provide provide a brief overview of the Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World.

Ramesh Dewangan
CEO at Quantum Vision Consulting
21 March
Is it possible to be too empathetic? If you overdo it, it can be an energy sucker.

Melanie Zens
Delivery & Operations / Digital Transformation / Innovation at Marais Consulting Inc
20 March
Learn about 10 rules from the wisdom of these long-living residents from Ogimi, a small village in Okinawa, Japan. You could interpret the rules as the lifestyle habits that enable the senior residents of Ogami to live long and enjoy their ikigai.

Ramesh Dewangan
CEO at Quantum Vision Consulting
7 March
3 ways leaders can cultivate relationships that lead to better products.

Guy Jenkins
SVP Global Customer Experience at Salesforce
25 March
Oftentimes Engineers work in silos, developing products to specified requirements, while they remain disconnected from the most important of questions - "WHY are we building this?" We'll explore the consequences of this mindset, as well as how to connect your Engineers to the larger Company Vision.

Eric Adams
VP of Engineering at ExecThread