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Building Remote Connections

Ying Liu

Director of Engineering at Lyft

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Problem

Communication is the basis for creating meaningful connections. This concept, however, can be difficult to materialize due to timidness, fear of being wrong, and/or feelings of inferiority when speaking with subject matter experts.

Actions taken

  • Practice active listening.
  • Establish individual and personalized connections.
  • While it's difficult to arrange remotely, try to spend some in-person time together where you talk about something other than work and possibly develop a common interest. Do this in a comfortable setting where you can grab lunch or even a beer.
  • Leave gap room in meetings for people to respond, looking around the room as a signal that the conversation is open to others.
  • Choose someone you are comfortable with and expose your vulnerabilities to them by asking for help with a concept, extra eye on something you are working on, or even admitting that you need some help working on your communication.

Lessons learned

  • Active listening breaks down the insecurities someone may have of feeling inferior to the person they are talking to based on skill level.
  • Developing a relationship outside of the work environment will allow you to solicit more from conversations regarding technical, work-related issues. It also builds trust and comfort so that they feel psychologically safe to share things, despite insecurities.
  • Allowing for gaps in meetings works well for more reserved people to find their voice.
  • By exposing your personal side and establishing that communication, you open up the idea for them to do the same with you.

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Ying Liu

Director of Engineering at Lyft


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